Thursday, July 13, 2006

Big Families

It is ironic that I am thinking of my only child and how she will be in 30 or 40 years when people I know and love are still wishing for one. I was watching a show on tv where this woman underwent a risky surgery to hopefully have kids. And then she did have a child. She said something that struck a cord in me. With one child what happens in thirty or forty years at holidays and family gathering type things. There she (in the woman's case it was a he) is all by herself, unless she has a husband or significant other. But who does she lean on when I go? Who does she celebrate the holidays with? THere is the argument that with only child, we as parents, can do more for that one child. Which is true. I don't think I could afford gymnastics team lessons for two or more kids. But at the same time, isn't that just a bit selfish on the part of parents... we can afford one kid, lets stay with that...who the he*l are we kidding, kids are expensive, even one. You don't have kids or raise kids because they are cheap. You have them/raise them for love. While I'm not in the position to have more kids at this point in time, I do want them. And I'm pretty sure that if another child were to become part of my life before school is finished (the reason I don't feel I'm in the position to have more kids) I could do it. Almost everyone seems to be wanting 2.13 kids, preferably one boy and one girl. But why? because the Jones' only have 2.13 kids and have the huge house, with all of the toys and gadgets and gizmos. Well, that's the dumbest reason in the history of humanity. One of my friends says two works for her because she is concerned about giving enough of herself to each child and wouldn't want to compromise the welfare of other kids just to have more. That makes sense. Most of us, if we try hard enough, actually know ourselves and what we can handle. But for some people it's an excuse. Two kids, a boy and girl, one mom and one dad. The perfect American family --- established when -- when JFK was in office? Just like when Clinton was in office every Hollyweird movie and tv show featured a President with one child. And there abouts everyone wants only one child. MInd you that this just a passing thought. But think about it, because we are afraid of not being able to afford all of the toys we think we must have we limit the number of children we have now, are we really doing a disservice to future generations. Doomed to lonely holidays, because their parents are gone (because face it, no one lives forever) and they don't have a sibling to share with. Or maybe they have one, but because they didn't have to figure out how to love and forgive, they never see them anymore.

1 comment:

Stasha said...

As long as the reason for having a child is to love the child not to have someone to love the parent....

I know too many girls who have kids so someone will love the mommy.

I would hope that my kids, when left on their own, will go out and make friends and find other lonely people whose lives need brightening but then, I'm two of eight married to a man who was adopted and hasn't seen his sister in over 3 years. I have a nephew I've never met.